Confession

So, I was logging in to write a random short post about my favorite pair of shoes when I stopped to read the latest posts from friends whose blogs I follow.  Two of them (and I only follow about 5) were about Haiti relief, and I suddenly realized something that's been sneaking up on me for some time.  I have become someone who has grown quite comfortable with avoiding bad news...well, with avoiding news altogether I think, but the presumption is that it's really the bad news I'm avoiding. 

I guess I don't always know what to do in the face of it all.  I feel overwhelmed, and I often choose to bury my head in the sand.  This makes me pretty sad because I think God's given me a perfectly good head.  I guess the trouble is that He's also given me a heart that is prone to growing too big and heavy for me to carry on my own...so rather than going to Him with it, I turn a blind eye to protect my selfish heart.  I can't help but think this makes God sad too.

I was so encouraged to read in the article that Katie posted (from Imago Dei Community), that one of the first opportunities we have to get involved is simply prayer:  "We have access to the God of all creation in prayer. There is perhaps no more powerful resource we have than to turn to our Father and seek him on behalf of the people and the tragedy in Haiti."  (For ideas on specific needs to pray for, see article).  How easy it is to overlook this powerful opportunity to serve people.  Why is that?  Maybe as Americans we've just grown so used to throwing money at a problem in order to "fix" it.  I'm not saying we should stop giving.  I love that Americans tend to be so generous in the face of crisis and need.  I just have a couple issues with it.  1)  (Speaking selfishly, because I am more and more discovering what a selfish beast I am)  It makes me feel powerless when I am in a position where I want to give so bad and can't.  2)  I think when we are able to "fix" things with money, we are (I am) tempted to forget our need for God and we (I) fail to trust and pray.  3)  I think some part of us thinks that with enough money, a problem will go away.  But the problems of the world go so much deeper, and they extend so far beyond any given crisis.  We live in a broken world where opportunities to give and serve (and pray!) surround us at any given moment.

So...I am feeling both challenged (not to bury my head in the sand anymore) and encouraged (that there may well be times when I can't board the next plane or even give money to help...but I can always, always pray).  I don't exactly know the ways that God has called me to be His love in the world, but I sure as heck (can I say that?) want to spend my life finding out.  Maybe it changes with each day or season.  For today, I pray.