Please Excuse My Absence (and More Importantly, My Big Head)

It's been a long time since I've blogged.  Up to this point, I had a good lecture waiting for myself on the back burner of my mind.  I should write.  I should have a more interesting life to write about.  When did I become so boring and empty of things to say?  And la la la.  But you know?  I'm glad I took a break.

I started this blog because I thought there needed to be more good news in print.  Because I knew there was much to be thankful for that seldom gets written about and sometimes, for negative-thinking little ones like me, seldom even talked about. 

But...somewhere along the line I started thinking more about making myself sound interesting and living a life worthy of a good post.  Discontentment is a hungry beast to whom gratitude is like candy.  No wonder I ran out of things to say.

Today I stopped thinking about how I really should write something, and took time to read what everyone else has been writing (I had been avoiding this out of some weird sort of amateur writer's/crafter's guilt).  I was shocked to see what my oldest friend has produced since the last time I checked her blog, and more shocked still to find that a friend halfway around the world whom she has never met found her blog through mine and made it a favorite...how a dear friend in Austin asked me the other day about a dear friend in Montana (and now that I remember, vice versa!) and how we are all so profoundly connected...(Using the word 'profound' always makes things seem less profound to me...like when you tell someone you love them and you know it only scratches the surface of what you really want to convey). 

Anyway, I guess the only way I can say it is to say that taking it all in today made me feel so lucky.  Here I have been spending so much time thinking about myself and what I am becoming that I have neglected to simply marvel at what a glorious cast of characters I have been plopped down into.  I am lucky to know you.  (And there I go scratching the surface again).

Laundry Day!

(...also tie your shirt in a Daisy Duke knot to clean your house and pose for a picture in your laundry room day!)

Cute Friday

wallpaper from Ferm Living on nestliving

I think when it comes to wallpaper, you're either for it or against.  I (provided it's not covering up nasty, mildewed walls in a somewhat structurally unsound rental unit...) am all for it.  I mean, look how cute these are!  I'm guessing it will be quite a long time before we own a house, and possibly a never-ish-ly long time before we could ever afford these (or agree on them, haha), so perhaps I should set my sights on building a dollhouse instead...

Also from Ferm Living kids...this adorable owl quilt!  I think I may have to borrow that idea for a baby gift sometime soon...

Life Unexpected

Is anyone else watching this?  I must confess the only reasons I got sucked in were 1)  The main character wears cute knitted hats and 2)  It is set in Portland, Oregon.  You know I have an obsession with all things yarn-y, but I also am kind of obsessed with that "I've been there!" feeling I have when I see some place I have been on tv (the fact that I miss the Northwest doesn't hurt).  For those reasons, the show doesn't disappoint (even if most of it is filmed in Vancouver, B.C., where I have also been, now that I think of it). 

As for my review of the show itself...so far so-so.  One thing I think I can safely say...it shouldn't take long for her hats to be the sensation of knitting blogs/forums everywhere.  (Perhaps even this one, if I get enough oomph to copy one soon).

Oh, and in the process of writing this post...I stumbled upon the Baby Maker game on the show's website.  It is disturbing in the extreme.  Therefore, you know I couldn't resist.  Meet our future children:

There are just so many things to say, I don't know where to begin:

1)  My husband will kill me when he sees this.

2)  Someone else needs to try this because seriously...did they even use our features?

3)  It is suggested that you make a baby with your friend and send it to them on facebook.  Scary much?

4)  If only it were this easy to have children.

5)  You know how they say being around screaming children is great birth control (sorry if I'm offending anyone)?...I have slightly the same feeling about this (merging adult features with baby faces/bodies = creepy).

Poladroid

Forgive me.  I should never write when I'm feeling bored and uninspired.  For penance, I present my cute find of the day:

A fun little web application that lets you create Polaroid-esque imges from any photo files on your computer.  Simply download the Poladroid program, and start dragging and dropping!  True to form, the 'camera' makes you wait while you watch your 'film' develop (you can shake it if you want to...)--it even makes the sound that polaroids make when popping out of the camera.  So fun!

Oh and incidentally, my eyes welled up with crocodile tears when I put up that last photo.  I miss my family (in this case my mom and my adorable nephew) so so very very much.

Meh

In a word, this is how I'm feeling.
I can feel a shift inside me
A realignment of things
Back to the way they should be.
And yet, I grow impatient.

When will I do the things I dream of doing?  When will I be the person of my best intentions?  When will I read articles about suffering and say, "Okay, I can help with that," rather than feeling overwhelmed and being paralyzed.  I've tried to work it from the outside in, but failure and a kind God have always stopped me.  This is what I mean when I say I feel a shift...God in His vast patience is working on me first.  Not making me perfect by any means...Just helping me surrender to the knowledge that, in His eyes of grace, I already am.

I can't really love until I'm Loved.  I can't rescue until I'm Rescued.  I can't feed the hungry when I'm starving too--I can't give away the very peace, hope, joy and life which I, too, am longing for.  Not yet anyway.

So...God works.

Please don't mind me, I'm talking to myself.

A Year Ago Today...

...Mac and me were engaged!  So, if you've been counting...that means it was just 10 days after the day we saw each other for the first time in 12 years.  Annnnnnd we've been married for almost 10 months now.  Crazy kids.

I apologize for always flashing back.  I learned it from my mom.  She is always saying, "Just think, one week ago today we were doing _____________ ", or "Guess what we were doing 3 months ago today?", or the one that used to drive my poor aunt nuts (this was a 'flash forward'), "Just think--6 months from today Christmas will be over with."  Funny, sweet mom whom I miss.

Funny, sweet classmate-cum-penpal-cum-fiancé-cum-husband whom I love.

I promise I'll blog about something new soon...but I can't promise it will be any better than this : ]